the phone.

It is my nemesis.

Does anyone have a majority of good conversations with their female relatives on the phone? I am pretty darn positive that I do not. It seems that it's the venue for a royal rumble 9 times out of 10. I feel like it's where they feel comfortable critiquing, bringing up things I have said or done 10 weeks ago and generally just not enjoying talking to me.  It does wonders for my self esteem. Really it does.   I begin to feel like they dread seeing my # come up on their screens...but...why?

I guess I'd like to challenge them to consider that maybe they go into conversations with me with a negative attitude. That perhaps they think the conversation will go badly because of something that they're not letting go of.   I'm not going to lie, I can be sarcastic and probably annoying...but everytime I talk to someone on the phone? It's statistically improbable. I'm not much different on the phone than I am in person and my colleagues and friends whom I see every day don't seem to have a problem with me. Just....my family on the phone. Hmm.

Is it too late to give up the phone for Lent? I feel guilty if I don't call the parents and sister regularly...that whole 'you never know when your last conversation might just be your last thing' drives me nuts and compels me to chat regularly with them. My sister has no such problem. She doesnt ever call home or me unless it's been so long that we start to text to find out if she's alive.  She feels that if she speaks regularly to anyone then they dont pay attention to her and thus she only wants to have meaningful conversations.   Too bad my 'meaningful conversations' with her tend to end in frustration.  Sigh. I should stick to texting and emails. They are much more positive and I think preferred.

In other news...the crankiness from the previous post is lifting somewhat.  It's not entirely gone but it's manageable and the intrusiveness is lessening as people get used to the idea of me being pregnant and quiet.  I still get 'mommy-jacked' on occasion and given all kinds of unsolicited advice, but mostly the people who know me well have backed off some.  I no longer feel like I have to hide int he bathroom at work.  :-). Bonus right?   We found out we are having a boy which I'm really excited about. I've never been a girlygirl and I'm excited about all the 'trouble' a boy can get into.  I think if I lived on a farm I'd love to have a girl.. because that means ponies and playing outside adventures to me.  Not gender biased but preferenced on what kind of environment I'd like to raise a girl in? A boy though...that means boating and playing catch and hiking and camping :-) (yes. i realize i could do this with a girl too...but it just seems more natural with a boy right now :))