Saturday, December 3, 2011

Why can't I have the bubblegum flavor anymore?

Someone please tell me in what world it is okay that I am 33 years old and have an ear infection. 33. I am fairly sure that ear infections are something you're supposed to grow out of like acne and saying "meow" after every sentence. What no one else did that when they were a small child? Oops.

To add insult to injury the prescribed antibiotic for a 33 year old with an ear infection is not the shockingly pink bubblegum liquid. It's a pill that looks like it is more designed for a large farm animal. Or an elephant. They taste bad too. As soon as I put it in my mouth I can taste the weird bitterness and I swear my throat closes up so that the gigantic oversized nugget scrapes my tonsils on it's way down. I think they do it on purpose. If the pill is gigantic, it's possible that I could choke on it, thus further improving the cash flow of the local urgent care that has to resussictate me.

No. I'm not cranky about this at all. No it's not ridiculously annoying to have your ear fluttering like a crazed hummingbird.   It's just freaking fine.

When I was little and I had an earache Mom would plunk me on couch with tylenol and a book and I would get to rest while she checked on me and brought me soup or whatever she was cooking.  I'd nap and watch television and read.  33 year old ear achey me has a living room full of Christmas ornaments, partially hung stockings and a bare and lopsided tree that needs decorating. She has 3 classes worth of crap to grade and a salary that doesnt make her feel like doing the work,  a dirty kitchen, a husband who is still congested, a dog that keeps making noises like a teapot because he's bored and can't move around since the living room is filled with breakables and christmas presents still to buy.

I also get to go to my mom's birthday party today which is the only small brightside in an otherwise unfun day.    Maybe while I'm there she'll plunk me down on the couch, give me a book to read and bring me slices of birthday cake. Maybe she'll pat me on the head and tell me I'm a good daughter and that I am doing a good job being an adult.  Maybe she'll tell me that your 30s are a weird place where you love where you are and are excited for all the things that you know will come in the future and that you just have to be patient. That you still are young enough to long for the days when life was easy because you had so few responsibilities but that everything is going to be okay and this time of year is just rough at work and is busy at home and it's easy to get overwhelmed. Maybe she'll tell me that she even felt that way when she was my age, wasn't feeling well and had a bad week.  

More likely...we'll just eat cake.


Anonymous said...

Oh NO!!! I hate that you are sick! My 7th grade year I had ear infections non-stop. One year then I've never had them since. I remember my mom having me put my head down on her lap and she'd blow cigerette smoke in my ear (thankfully she has been smoke free for 10 years now). Pretty sure she'd be arrested for child abuse if she did that now.

When I take Day or Nite Quill I about gag on the stuff. I feel like a 3 year old arguing with my mom execpt I'm arguing with myself.

I sure hope you feel better!

Anonymous said...

oops that's suppose to be cigArette.